Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
