meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
