allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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