He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
