I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I believe in your delicious
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
