My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize