Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
