At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
