literally had 100 drinks last night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
