hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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