if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
