how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
