Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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