Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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