I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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