Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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