the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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