Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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