We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
