Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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