It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
