I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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