can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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