I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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