just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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