I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
even my farts smell like vagina
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize