found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
