She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
