i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize