just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize