This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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