I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
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Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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