wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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