Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
God I need to hump something, right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
