The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
