I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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