You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the condom got lost in my hair
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
