I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize