This is not my ceiling
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
