You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My ass is underappreciated
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
