yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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