i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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