did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
