No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
