I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you had me at cake vodka
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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