Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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