Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
