you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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