We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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