Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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