I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
