She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
