He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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