I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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