You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
