I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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