I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I sprained my soul last night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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