If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
