finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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