Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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