Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The best revenge is premature balding
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
