I just made out with a guy for $7.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i think i just lost a toe
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
