third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
